Useless
by TheRangress
Summary: The Fuhrer and his wife have nothing left but three months until their war crimes trial.
1. Chapter 1

It was a beautiful day for a wedding. It wasn't cloudless, but they were cloud-watching clouds in a blue silk sky, a sky with a radiant and warm gold-button-sun.

Roy Mustang was hiding outside on the perfect wedding day, holding his wife.

It was hardly a happy day. The marriage was likely to last only a few months before their war crimes trial.

And then? Prison. Separation, probably. They both knew they couldn't live without each other. So...

"I suppose it's justice, but still..." said Riza.  
"I've hurt you too many times already..."  
"No more than yourself."

"But you're the one that matters."

"Not to me."  
"Of course not..." He sighed and brushed his fingers through the ends of her hair.

"I guess I'll just have to follow you to hell."

"I wish I could go alone..."

"I'll never let you be alone."

"Of course you won't. I'd never ask you to follow me to hell..."

"Where else would I have to go?"  
"I know... If I could have changed things..."

"We've done all we can..."

"It doesn't feel like enough..."

"No. I guess there's nothing left to do..."

"Don't get some foolish idea in your head that any of this is your fault."  
"No more than yours."

"I suppose..."

"Roy."

"...You're beautiful." She smiled and shook her head at him. "I mean it. Whatever happens... I love you."

"I love you too..."  
"And today I have you..."

"Oh, really?"  
"And there is something else we can do..."  
"What might that be?"

He kissed her, and for a few moments it was a different life, one where they could have been together. A few moments later, eyes beginning to tear met.

"Horrible day for rain," whispered Riza.

"It's not raining," said Roy. He paused to touch her hair again. "But I'm useless anyway."


	2. Chapter 2

Riza Hawkeye woke from a nightmare into a world that held no comfort.

No sooner had she realized she wasn't in Ishval and was in fact in a warm bed with a sleeping Roy holding her than harsh reality reminded her how she'd never left Ishval.

Quietly, trying not to wake him, she went to sit in a chair and hold her knees. There should have been a certain solace in the inevitability, the comfort of the single path.

She felt like a chess piece. One played not to win, but to lose for some reason beyond the comprehension of the pieces. The queen's only purpose was to protect the king. Now they were both to be sacrificed for some reason— a failure.

She felt the restlessness of despair, the desperation of a hopeless situation. When you couldn't do anything, you threw yourself against the bars of the cage until you died from it or escaped.

With a deep breath she found herself crying. "I should've done something..."

"So should I." He sat down next to her, one arm around her shoulders, one hand brushing away tears. She gave him a faint smile, one he couldn't return.

They didn't know how long they spent just sitting like that. Being together was enough... They knew they deserved it, but... they couldn't live apart. So what were they left to do but die?

Being useless was a horrible feeling. Even these few months together were pointless. There was nothing they could do but wait.

What was there to say? There was just being together. So they were, in a silent understanding. There was a bleakness in their togetherness fated to be short-lived. This was what they deserved, what they'd chosen...

And somewhere in the emptiness was an anger. An anger they didn't deserve but still had. Hadn't they paid their price? It was an anger and passion, undeserved but unsilenced. But a useless anger.

So there was just a resignation, a bleak resignation. A soft desperation for each other. And uselessness. So much uselessness.

Night turned to morning, quiet and desperate togetherness to coffee and a kiss before going back to work.


	3. Chapter 3

There was an emptiness to the days.

A lost, dreamlike quality. Roy once caught himself almost ordering economic policy for lunch.

They didn't talk much. There was nothing to talk about. There was the occasional wish for it to just hurry up and end, but mostly they were just together.

The days passed as if they knew how desperately treasured they were. Too fast. Horribly fast, slipping through their fingers. And despite the agony of waiting, it was worse to see each day pass and have a day less together.

Nearly a month passed. Each morning meant coffee and the parting kiss, and they never said how much harder it was getting to walk away.

Lunch came and they talked of inconsequential things. Evening, dinner...

And then Roy threw the calendar onto the floor and torched it for good measure. He gave an inarticulate yell and kicked the wall.

Riza hugged him from behind, and he turned to hold her. A deep breath, fingers run through the ends of her hair, holding her closer.

"I can't let you go."

"Neither can I."

"I won't."

"We have to..."  
"No. I don't care. After everything— everything we've been through, everything we've done..."  
"But what can we do?"

She looked at him, and understood what he was talking about. And it sounded better than being apart, so she slowly nodded.

"It would happen anyway..."

"...I love you, Riza, and a life without you would be nothing more than death."

"I know."

And what else was there to say? But somehow fading back into the silent broken understanding was just infuriating.

"If we'd made the right decisions..."

"It's too late to change things..."

After a pause, "But if?"

Here it was her turn to pause. "Would we even care like this?"

"Maybe not."

"Maybe we'd be better off..."

It took a while for him to answer. But finally he kissed her, and then, looking right into her eyes, "I can't imagine being anything without my queen."


	4. Chapter 4

And days passed, still empty.

After another heavy-hearted day of quiet desperation, Roy found Riza in an uncharacteristic freak-out.

"Riza?" he asked, putting his hands on her arms. She took a breath to compose herself.

"Things have gotten a bit... complicated." He tried to think of a few things that would complicate matters. He could think of several. Damn.

"By which you mean..."  
"I'm pregnant..."

"...I'm so sorry..."

"Don't get some foolish idea into your head that any of this is your fault!"

"It _is_ my fault..."

"No offence, but you're an idiot."

"I'm still sorry."

"Of course you are."

He held her closer. It was such a big, messy, complicating, his-fault, what-the-hell-do-we-do-now, this-would-be-wonderful-if-only thing.

"Hughes would love this." It was all he could think to say. And he could almost see that grin, the teasing… the subject changing to Elicia. He smiled at that, a small wistful smile.

"What are we doing to do?"  
"I don't know…"

"This is…"  
"Confusing?"  
"Very…"

He didn't know what he could do but just hold her. This was his mistake… was it a mistake? Under different circumstances…

They were lost and useless. There was nothing to do and so much to be done. Nothing to say and so much to be said.

"Yes," said Riza.

"What?"  
"You can name the baby after Hughes."

"Oh." He hadn't thought of it… It was a problem, and things would have to be done about it. But… it was a _baby_. And yes… it should be named after Hughes.

Poor thing.

**(A/N: My first author's note, too...**

**This soon enough for you? xD As for the Elrics testifying... I have a feeling they would. "He's a bastard with a god complex, but not a war criminal." "Brother, I don't think you should use that word right now..."**

**Due to the scenes I'm writing, however, Roy and Riza will be the only characters who actually appear... actually, there's going to be a third character in the fifth part (which I'll start today, I promise!). **

**And sorry about the line spacing issues.)**


	5. Chapter 5

"I brought flowers."

Roy sighed and put them down. "You're the only one I can talk to anymore... I can't even talk to Riza."

He looked down at the grave of Maes Hughes with another sigh. "You should be here. You'd love this... maybe you'd have made it bearable. Maybe you'd find some way to be cheerful... Damn, I miss you. Whenever I hear a phone..." He clenched his fists.

"Are they going to leave me with _anything_? I thought I was fine with this... I deserved it... we all... do we?

"How could you get married, knowing... this? And that daughter of yours... this is why you wouldn't shut up about her, isn't it? That and... you."

He just stood there silently. His life felt like a chess game. He'd made his moves, and he— him, everyone he cared about, they had to be sacrificed for the Game. There had to be a way to win without sacrificing so many pieces...

_Hey, the game's not over yet! _And there he was, still with his stupid grin and a punch to Roy's shoulder. _Things have looked worse. You'll make it. And hasn't Elicia grown into the cutest girl in the world? Wait until you're a father, Roy! You'll be great._

"I thought I'd find you here." Roy turned to see Riza walking Hayate.

"I had to tell him." It had been so long, and still...

"And what does he think?"

"I'll be a great father." "You will." "In prison?"

"Maybe."

She took his hand, and Hayate pulled them along.

**(A/N: I lied, there are four characters in this part. Forgive me. The next part will be after the trial and the last part... unless I decide to do an epilogue about their kid... Darn, this thing keeps getting longer. It was only supposed to be Roy crying at his wedding!)**


	6. Chapter 6

They were together, and there was only one thing to comprehend.

After their three stolen months, months of anger and desperation and clinging... After years of knowing this was where they were going... After their decision to stay together, even if that meant...

After all that, they weren't going to prison. They could stay together. They were being given the life of the other them.

Tomorrow was for comprehending the reasons. Tomorrow they'd try to understand why they deserved this. Tomorrow they'd have to face the self-hatred that had ruled their lives.

Then they'd have to figure out what to do with this life. There had been no plan beyond this... no plan that involved children, that was certain.

But today, they had forever, they had together; there wasn't anything but that. What else could possibly be important? Nothing...

"I love you." "I know."

"You're beautiful." "You've said."

"You are."

"I suppose so."

"This wouldn't have happened without you."

"It's been an honor."

"Likewise." He played with the ends of her hair, smiling as for the first time he really understood that she was his wife now... His Riza, his lieutenant, his queen, his eyes, his guard, his conscience... his wife. "I wouldn't be here without you..." "And I wouldn't be here without you."

"You deserve better." "So do you."

"You two being sappy back there?" called Edward Elric, walking in with a mild limp.

"Shut up," said Roy. "I thought I'd make it clear you're still a bastard."

"Wonderful."

"And you didn't invite me to your wedding!"

"Would you have come?" "Yes." "To make fun of me?" "Yes."

"Will you two stop the male bickering?"

"It's not bickering," said Ed.

"Go away, Ed."

"Fine, fine!" He stuck his tongue out at Roy and limped away.

"Some things never change," Roy said.

Right then, there was nothing either of them would change.

**(A/N: I know. I said it would just be Roy and Riza. Ed's a pain...)**


	7. Epilogue

_Seventeen Years Later_

"Fullmetal's daughter," grumbled Roy Mustang.

"Trisha's a nice girl," pointed out Riza Mustang.

"Of all the nice girls in the world… _his _daughter?"

"Mae's old enough to date who she likes." "Still…"

"She's sixteen. Besides, I like Trisha." "She calls me Uncle Roy."

"I think it's cute."

"I've told her not to…"

This argument was interrupted by the entrance of Trisha and Mae. Mae was tallish and freckled, with her mother's eyes and shoulder-length black hair. She had a white shirt and long purple skirt, and wore a necklace Trisha had given her. Trisha resembled nothing more than a blue-eyed, female, cheerful Ed. Someone— and they all knew who— had stuck flowers in her hair, making her just a bit sniffly. The girls were laughing and discussing the sort of things that only made sense if you were one of them or witness to their discussion.

"Uncle Roy! Aunt Riza!" "I told you not to call me that…" "But you're my Uncle Roy!"

"I'm not your uncle." "Dad, you are…" Riza nodded in agreement. Roy gave the look of anyone when everyone seems to have the opposite opinion and gender.

"Food, dearest," said Trisha, kissing Mae's cheek.

"Yes, darling," said Mae, returning the kiss and going to find some food. After some rummaging, she wistfully called, "I'll be going to college in three months…"

Three months. History repeats itself… going from a three-month-marriage at the endgame of two chess pieces certain of their sacrifice, to three months of sitting on the grass before a year of long scribbled letters.

But the first three months had turned into a life. A life with tears and what-the-hell-do-we-do-now and what-if-I-break-it and nightmares and desperation and days when it seemed almost too hard. A life that felt undeserved, but desperately loved. A life of crying and clinging and dread of the day Mae would learn about Ishval. A life of unexpected forgiveness— and even, one day, their own.

It felt almost like the life of that other Roy and Riza, the ones who had made the right decision in Ishval. But they'd come to believe they'd earned redemption.

And now, it was only three months until Mae went off to start her own life— and they'd be useless to stop her mistakes.


End file.
